I am posting 4 short stories today.  1.  Making the Pain Go Away.  2.  Lip Reading and the Echo.  3.  Stephanie, The Runaway (1985).  4.  That's Why We Are Boss.  I think that you will enjoy them.

MAKING THE PAIN GO AWAY.  When my two daughters were very young, as with all children, they would fall and scrape their knees or incur some other such injury.  Well, they would always run to their mother because mothers know best in these kinds of situations.  After Sylvia had bandaged them up, they would usually still be crying, and she would tell them to go see their father.  They would come to me with tears in their eyes.  I would tell them that I would make them forget the pain and even laugh.  They would look at me in disbelief, and the crying would get worse.  I would sit them on my knees and tell them that it was very important to not laugh.  I would repeat this instruction again to be sure that they understood it.  Then, I would make a complete fool of myself by using my hands in some witch doctor motions over the wound, and I would howl like a wolf baying to the moon.  They would look at me in disbelief.  In almost every instance, they would laugh at me because I looked so stupid.  I would then tell them that they were laughing and had broken the spell, and I would have to start over.  By this time, they were begging me to stop.  But they had forgotten their hurt.  It worked every time.

LIP READING AND THE ECHO.  I have a very annoying ability.  When someone is speaking to me face-to-face, I can read their lips and repeat what they are saying a fraction of a second after they say it.  You must trust me when I say that this is annoying.  Whenever I was in a mirthful mood, I would practice this trick on my daughters.  They would get so frustrated at me and beg me to stop.  Of course, I would repeat their plea to stop as soon as it was made.  They often got so frustrated with me that they would run from the room screaming, and I would be right behind them echoing their screams.

STEPHANIE, THE RUNAWAY (1985).  When Stephanie, my youngest daughter, was in middle school, her friends started to become more important to her than her parents.  As a result, her school grades began suffering.  We were on her case for this almost constantly.  One day after work, I found a note from Stephanie in our mailbox.  Stephanie said in her note that we did not appreciate her and she had left to live with people that did.  Stephanie had run away from home.  After Sylvia and I had read the note, it took about 20 seconds for us to figure out where She had run off to.  We got into our car and drove the 5 minutes to her friend’s house where we knew she would now be living.  I went up to the front door and rang the bell.  Stephanie’s friend opened the door.  She looked very nervous as I asked for Stephanie.  When she didn’t say anything, I said in a stern voice, “Look!  Get Stephanie out here”!  Stephanie came sheepishly to the front door.  I immediately picked her up, carried her to the car, and threw her into the back seat through an open window.  We drove back home chastising her the whole way.
Stephanie maintains that she has never seen me so mad.  In truth, I never really got angry in those days, and I thought the whole incident was funny.  I had a difficult time to keep from laughing at it all.
I have a side story that I have to tell.  When I was a young boy, about 9, I told my mother that I was going to leave home.  She looked at me and said, “Oh, really?  Here, let me help you”.  My mother proceeded to get a small suitcase, pack it with my clothes, then usher me to the front door.  She pushed me, along with my suitcase, out the door onto our tenement’s third floor landing.  She said something like “Call me when you get to where you are going.  I want to know you are safe”.  She went back inside and locked the door.  I stood there for awhile assessing my situation.  As I remember, it was cold outside, and my mother had “forgotten” to give me a coat.  It wasn’t too long afterward that I rang the bell, apologized to my mother, and went back inside where it was warm.

​THAT’S WHY WE ARE BOSS (1982).  This story is one that has stayed with Monica, Stephanie, and me for almost 40 years.  It started when we were living in Hawaii, and it was 1982.  We were trying to come up with some unique science fair project for Monica.  She chose the topic of comparing the efficiency of various insulations. After we had discussed different ways to show how insulations work, we began designing the experiment.  When we finished building the test box, she tested several different types of commercial insulations as well as an insulation panel she had made out of cardboard and newspaper.  She then compiled the results and submitted her project for judging.  Monica won the top award for her project.  When it was over, I announced to her and Stephanie the following, “A monkey couldn’t have thought of that”.  Then, after a short pause, I said, “That’s why we are boss”.
To this day, whenever any one of us comes up with some innovative, clever way to solve a problem, she or I will say, “A monkey couldn’t have thought of that”.  And we will all say in unison, “That’s why we are boss”.  And we all howl with laughter.