CHAPTER 6. VIGNETTES (CONT'D)

I am posting 4 vignettes today.  Tokyo, Japan Customs Incident (1966) and Silly Goose (1982).  In reading the first story, please try to put yourself in my shoes.  I was trying to go through Japanese customs in Tokyo, and I was carrying with me 3 fiberglass cases, each of which contained what looked like a bomb.  I couldn't speak Japanese, and the custom agent(s) couldn't speak English.  I had just had a 17

TOKYO, JAPAN CUSTOMS INCIDENT (1966).  The following incident occurred about a year before I reported to the USS Banner.  We were conducting a survey in the Sea of Japan, and I needed to bring several bathythermographs (BTs) with me to the ship I would be boarding (Figure 24).  BTs were used to provide a temperature profile through the shallow water column.  BTs were carried in small fiberglass containers which looked like baby coffins.  I had 3 of them with me at the time.  I got into the customs line with my luggage and the 3 BT boxes.  When my turn came, I opened the boxes, and you can imagine what the customs agent thought when he saw the BT pictured below.
The Japanese agent just looked at me and laughed as only the Japanese can do.  He thought that it must be a bomb of some sort.  He spoke no English, and I spoke no Japanese.  I tried to explain what it was but to no avail.  He bowed to me politely and told me to wait by holding his hand up to me.  He disappeared for a moment then showed up with another gentleman that was wearing an ID badge.  They both looked at the BT and were laughing.  They would periodically look at me and bow.  They left and came back with a third official who had a badge larger than the second one.  They tried to talk to me, but that didn’t work.  They took me aside so that other passengers could go through customs.  A fourth agent joined us who had an even larger badge.  He spoke some English, but imagine trying to explain what a BT was to someone who only understood a little English.
Finally, a distinguished Japanese gentleman (A passenger, I believe) approached me and said in perfect English, “I have been watching what has been going on.  Perhaps I could help”.  I was very grateful, and I explained what the bomb-looking device was for.  He seemed to understand, and he began talking to the now 4 customs agents.  As he explained, they would look at me, laugh, and then bow.  Finally, they came to me, signaled that I could close the boxes, and that I could proceed to the street.
The whole incident took about an hour.  I had been travelling for about 17 hours to get to Japan.  I was very tired, and I still had to hail a taxi and drive the hour’s trip to Yokosuka.  I don’t know what my Japanese passenger “angel” had told the customs agents, but it worked, and I was finally on my way.

SILLY GOOSE (1982).  In 1982, a very popular TV show began airing called “Cheers”.  It was about the happenings in a bar in Boston named Cheers and starred Ted Danson as Sam and Shelley Long as the waitress named Diane.  Diane was a snobbish sort, and she often bugged the other workers and customers by her speech and other mannerisms.  Our family would watch the show religiously.  On one particular episode, Diane said to Sam, “Oh Sam.  You are such a silly goose”.  Later in the show, Diane asked Sam what he had against her.  Sam said, “For one thing you say crazy things like “Silly Goose””.  Well my wife and I and my two daughters, Monica and Stephanie, all thought that this was really funny.  From that time on, whenever any of us does something dumb, we say to that person, “Oh, Dad (or whoever), You’re such a silly goose”.

Figure 24.  A Bathythermograph (BT).  A BT Is About 3 Feet Long